Beware of the penis snatchers
Apr 23, 2008 Humor
If you are male and have any interest in traveling, I’d recommend steering clear of Congo, unless you want to potentially lose your penis.
This has to be one of the most bizarre news stories I’ve ever read. Apparently there are so called “sorcerers” in Congo using black magic in an attempt to either steal or shrink the penises of their victims.
“Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants.”
I’m sure this story is a very serious thing to those who live in Congo, but I couldn’t help but laugh after reading the following quote:
“I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” Oleko said. “But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.
So, is anyone planning a trip to Congo in the near future? You really may want to reconsider if you value your penis.
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Tags: congo, news, penis snatching, witchcraft
April 24th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I read a story about a guitar builder who was carving a neck with a spokeshave and accidentally cut his own penis off. He told the police that a prostitute had actually done it. They found the shriveled remains in a sugar bowl on top of his refrigerator…haha! If I go to the Congo, I’ll bring some of that enzyte they advertise on TV :smile:
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April 25th, 2008 at 12:53 am
I always stress to people that when visiting that part of the world that they bring along plenty of Congo-doms. You just never know when one of those “whiz-ards” are going to cast a spell your way.
Travel safe everybody. ;)
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April 25th, 2008 at 1:11 am
@Bobby: Holy crap :-o Why the hell would he stick it in a sugar bowl? :P
@Mark: I think I may have heard a distant rimshot after reading that comment :P
April 25th, 2008 at 2:24 am
LOLLLLL Damn Penis Snatchers!! ;))
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April 27th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Thankfully, mine’s detachable. I can hide it in my back pocket where it can go relatively unnoticed until it’s actually needed. :P
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April 28th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
OUCH!
And one of my closest friends is cycling through Africa…
I wonder if I should forward on your blog?
April 30th, 2008 at 10:04 am
I come back from my “blogging vacation” to this!?
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May 1st, 2008 at 1:28 pm
@Aaron: That’s pretty handy…lol. There used to be a song ages ago called Detachable Penis ;P
@Pendullum: LOL. Unless they have a bike wired for internet, I’m guessing they probably wouldn’t be able to read this blog :P
@Bush: I hope you didn’t go to Congo ;)
May 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 am
@Mike: Yep, quite familiar with the song (and video). It came out the year I graduated high school (Gee, am I that old already!) and put King Missile “on the map.” Good stuff, even today. ;)
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June 18th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
and to think my whole life I’ve been worried about someone trying to GIVE me one where it’s not wanted (which is anywhere if I don’t know them thank you very much) Thanks for setting me straight.
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